Sunday, October 21, 2018

A Blast From The Past

Wow, I am so lucky!  I have been blessed with some incredible friendships in my life, and I cherish them all.  There is one friendship that holds a special place in my heart though!  My friend, Kaye and I have been friends from the ripe age of 3.  Our mothers had gone to high school together and then found that they lived just a few houses from each other't  as they were having their babies.  Their friendship wasn't close but more of neighbors with kids the same age.  It was handy for both  of them to have a place where the kids could play.  Our brothers were the same age (2 1/2 years older) and also became really best friends.  As we got older that meant walking to school together and mostly being in the same class together.  We both became baton twirlers and were in several parades in our town, Council Bluffs, Iowa, across the Missouri River from Omaha.  We spent all our time together and traded spending the weekends at each others houses.  We both had Saturday chores and would often do them together, first at one house than the other.  The chores always seemed to go faster that way.  As we got older, we rushed to finish those chores so we could walk to downtown so we could go to the movies and have curly-cue fries at our favorite diner.  As we walked home we would stop at the Dairy Queen to have Dilly Bars, always trying to finish our treats there, in case, one of us got a "free" stick!  Kaye's mom was an incredible hairdresser and had a good sized salon in the ground level of their home.  Saturdays were her busiest day with the salon filled with talking women in various stages of beautification!  I appreciated this more than Kaye!  I loved all the unusual smells and the excitement you could feel in the salon.  I think Kaye always saw the potential for more chores, which the salon brought many.  Sunday always meant that there were more from chores to do from the shop.  Washing the towels, cleaning each station, cleaning all the sinks, endless sweeping and sterilizing of combs and brushes.  For some reason I loved helping to clean the salon.  I didn't always do it because by the time Sunday rolled around, Mom and Dad usually had family things planned for us.  Kaye and I spent many Saturday nights scaring ourselves watching the local TV station play cheesy horror movies.  When we started Junior High we joined the same clubs and became school baton twirlers!  We did the same when we went to high school.  We looked a little "Mutt and Jeff"!  Kaye had bright red hair (we're talking carrot red) and didn't reach 5 foot until her senior year.  I was brunette and reached my full height of 5'4" in junior high.  It wasn't that I was really tall, but she was only 4'8"!  The trouble back then was that there was a definite difference from little girls' clothes and junior clothes.  I remember going shopping for school clothes and Kaye crying because the clothes she had to buy looked very "little girl like".  We were usually shopping with my Mom, because her Mom was working.  Mom was very sympathetic and always tried to help Kaye find something that made her look like someone in high school.  Kaye never forgot this kindness and compassion from my Mom (and my Dad) and became very close with them as well.

My Dad was transferred to Denver, Colorado half way through my junior year.  I was sure this was ruining my life.  Kaye and I were still very close, but I had started dating by then and Kaye just didn't have that happen for awhile.  She blossomed at college.  I remember trying to talk Mom and Dad into letting me move in with Kaye until I graduated, while they moved to Denver.  My younger brother had wanted to stay too.   For some reason, they just wouldn't go for that!  My older brother had tried college (unsuccessfully) and didn't decide to move with us to Denver until the week before we left.  This was the era of Viet Nam and the draft and he worried that he his draft number would come up.  He had already talked to the Navy recruiter so he could have an idea of his options.  We were in Denver for less than 6 months when his number was called.  He opted to join the navy instead of being drafted into the army.

Kaye and I shared a very emotional goodbye, promising to write and call when our parents would allow.    No free long distance then!  There were visits back to Council Bluffs and Kaye came to Denver a couple of times as well.  But, then we started our post-high school lives.  Kaye went off to college and I elected to go directly to work rather than college.  Dan and I had met and were seriously in love and were planning to marry in a year.  The letters grew less frequent, but we always stayed in touch.  Kaye was a bridesmaid at our wedding but we didn't see each other after that for years.  We always stayed in touch, just not as frequently.

Life became busy for both of us with school, career, husbands and babies.  We had graduated high school in 1969.  We grew up during the time of Viet Nam, the Beatles, Civil Rights movement, John F Kennedy''s assassination, Martin Luther King's assassination, Bobby Kennedy's assassination, flower children, war protests, the Cold War, the Baby of Pigs, the walk on the moon, etc.  We are Baby Boomers.  Such a unique time to grow up.  Our parents were from "The Greatest Generation" and both of our Dad's had served in the Navy during World War II.  Our grandparents grew up during the Great Depression and World War I.   Kaye's Dad had been a State Senator and that was our introduction to politics.  Kaye and I both remember helping her Dad mail flyers, etc. during John F Kennedy's run for the Presidency.  We were even called on to babysit (we were both 11) so people could get to polls to vote.  All of these things shaped who we are and how we interacted with the world around us.

The next time we actually saw each other was in 1984, when Dan and I  and our kids, travelled to Council Bluffs to see Kaye and her family (and attend a family reunion).  Our husbands and kids all hit it off!    This began a several years of traveling back and forth between Iowa and Colorado, showing each other the sights and having great fun together as families!  Then our kids started getting busier and busier and those trips back and forth became more infrequent.  The last time we met as families, our kids were all teenagers and we met in the middle of Nebraska for a canoeing trip that was so fun.  The kids scattered to their different colleges after that.  Kaye and I frequently talked but she and Mark had opened their own jewelry store, which kept them very busy and we had our string of unique events that distracted us as well.  Kaye occasionally traveled for work and tried for layovers in Denver so we could connect for a few hours at the airport or overnight.  The last time we physically saw each other was in 1996 for a couple of hours at the Denver airport.

After 22 years, Kaye, her amazing daughter Molly and Molly's 14 month old daughter came to visit me here in Portland, in August.  Kaye had been such a wonderful support after Dan's death.  She called frequently and always sent notes by Messenger, text or good old "snail mail".  I always knew that I could call her if I needed to talk.  Kaye had been telling me she wanted to visit, since Dan had passed and in August those plans finally came together.

Even though we had not physically seen each other for 22 years, we had stayed and touch.  We immediately started reminiscing and catching up.  Kaye's youngest daughter Molly and her 14 month old daughter came along.  I had seen Molly more recently when she and her husband were in Portland for a job interview.  I had tried hard to promote Portland hard.  My thoughts were - then Kaye and Mark would show up often to visit her!  But, Molly decided on a position in Chicago instead.  The 4 days they were here the most incredible that I'd  had in a long time.  Here was this precious friend that virtually knew everything about my childhood.  I mean,  Kaye is literally in almost every memory I have of that time in my life.  It had been a long time since I had talked that much.  I spend a major part of my day alone and really do try to NOT talk to myself (too much)!  I think I made up for that while they were here!  I was practically hoarse when they left.  We spent 3 of those days on the coast.  We're lucky to have access to my daughter and son-in-law's condo in Cannon Beach.  We spent time just walking on the beach and I was able to share Ecola State Park (Dan's and my favorite spot in Oregon) with them.

Kaye has asked me to join her family on a cruise to Alaska next year.  I don't know if I'll be able to swing it financially.  My budget doesn't have a lot of wiggle room in it.  I was moved to tears that they wanted to include me.  Both Kaye and Molly have followed up on that,  letting me know how serious they were about that invitation.  I'm touched beyond words.  Kaye even followed up with my daughter, because she was afraid my pride of wanting to do it by myself, may keep me bringing up.  Yep, Kaye knows me very well!!  Time will tell!

It takes a lot of years and a lot care to grow a friendship like this, but this is truly one of my greatest gifts I've ever received!  Be sure to nurture your friendships - they are priceless!

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